MLB Page 985 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vlad Guerrero Jr.'s Righteous Dong Sent The Yankees To Hell Where They Belong
The vile and hideous New York Yankees were, inexplicably, somehow on the verge of maybe winning a game on Wednesday night, until a legend in the making shut them down. The Yanks have rightfully tasted victory only once in the month of June, and to prevent that disaster from happening again, the Toro...

Craig Kimbrel Finally Lands A Job, Joins Cubs
It took all the way until June 5, but finally, finally, one of the handful of best closers in baseball has landed a job. Per Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic, Craig Kimbrel has reached an agreement to join the NL Central-leading Chicago Cubs on a multiyear deal:...

Clint Frazier Has Some Things He'd Like To Get Off His Chest About The New York Media
The very first thing Yankees fans were told about Clint Frazier was that he was going to be good. Upon his acquisition from Cleveland in the Andrew Miller trade, Frazier was immediately ranked as the Yankees’ No. 2 prospect....

Brewers Utility Man Hernán Pérez Pitches Delightful, YouTube-Inspired 1-2-3 Inning
Normally I would not ask you to pay attention to a late half-inning in a 16–0 June blowout, where pretty much by definition nothing that happens matters in the slightest. This is no normal half-inning! First of all the pitcher is Brewers utility man Hernán Pérez, making his second appearance on the ...

Help Me Figure Out Which Team Scored 11 Runs In One Inning In Marlins-Brewers
The Miami Marlins opened a series against the Milwaukee Brewers Tuesday night, in Milwaukee. The Brewers come into the series sitting atop the NL Central; the last-place, aggressively “rebuilding” Marlins come into the series having scored the fewest total runs in baseball and 35 fewer runs than the...

Umpire Mike Everitt Leaves Game After Taking 95-MPH Fastball To The Chest
Umpire Mike Everitt was working home plate in the bottom of the third inning of Tuesday night’s White Sox-Nationals game when a 95-mph fastball from Reynaldo López somehow missed both Trea Turner’s bat and catcher James McCann’s glove and smashed directly into his breast pocket, obliterating the pen...

Dodgers Pitcher Julio Urias Won't Be Charged In Domestic Violence Investigation
The Office of the Los Angeles City Attorney will not file misdemeanor charges against Dodgers pitcher Julio Urias. Urias was arrested on May 13 after witnesses reportedly told law enforcement that they saw Urias shove a woman to the ground at the Beverly Center shopping mall. In a press release, the...

Diamondbacks Fan Tries To Crack Kenley Jansen With His Bare Cheeks
Can you spot the butt? Look closely. You’ll find it....

The Padres Killed A Lot Of Bees For Absolutely No Reason
Bees are dying globally at an alarming rate. And the San Diego Padres are doing their part to kill them....

Alex Rodriguez Considers Crapping Out Of View
Earlier this month a photo of Alex Rodriguez taking a crap in his well-appointed bathroom made its way around the internet. The photo was snapped from a building adjacent to A-Rod’s home, which for some reason features a bathroom with a giant glass window facing out to the street. A-Rod is now consi...

This Mariners Error Is Some Beer-League Softball Shit
For a little while there it looked like the Seattle Mariners might actually be pretty good this season. They got off to a 13-2 start and everyone in the lineup was hitting dingers all over the place. The bombs are still flying (they are second in baseball with 108 homers), but basically everything e...
![Andrew McCutchen Injures Knee In Stupid, Fluky, Unfair, Stupid Rundown [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zjosm0ucvfnhkyu4khwm.jpg)
Andrew McCutchen Injures Knee In Stupid, Fluky, Unfair, Stupid Rundown [Update]
If a player is going to be injured on the bases, you’d prefer it come from legging out a triple, or barreling into a catcher, or wrapping an arm around a middle infielder on a head-first slide into second base. A perfectly pointless and avoidable rundown between first and second is not at all an occ...

Nobody Tells Max Scherzer To Leave The Mound Except Max Scherzer
After throwing 117 pitches and striking out 14 batters, Max Scherzer did not feel like he was ready to leave Sunday’s game against the Reds. He made those feelings known to Nationals manager Dave Martinez, who tried to take out his streaking ace in the bottom of the eighth right as Joey Votto got to...

Twins' Byron Buxton Throws An Absolute Laser To Make A 300-Foot Double Play Look Easy
It’s already been well established on this site that Twins outfielder Byron Buxton is fast as hell when it comes to running the bases. But what hasn’t been talked about enough is that he’s also one of the best fielders in baseball with one of the best arms on one of the best teams in baseball right ...

Dodgers' Will Smith Launches One To Bel Air For Walk-Off Win Against Philadelphia
Dodgers catcher Will Smith is not from West Philadelphia, neither born nor raised, and it’s not clear whether the playground was where he spent most of his days, but on Saturday he was certainly chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool while playing some baseball outside of the....101 Freeway? Whelp,...

Twins Broadcaster Bert Blyleven Calls For The Destruction Of Tropicana Field After The Park Stole Another Homer From Miguel Sano
While the Rays were unable to stop the red-hot Twins from getting a win on Friday, at least Tropicana Field was once again victorious over Minnesota third baseman Miguel Sano....

Padres' Franmil Reyes Serenades Home Crowd With Rendition Of "I Will Always Love You"
Padres outfielder Franmil Reyes was able to put on a show for the Friar faithful in San Diego on Friday. Not only did the 5-2 victory over the Marlins include a solo shot in the bottom of the first—giving him a team-leading 16th home run for the season—but he also capped off the win with a solid ren...

Fake Steve Berthiaume Twitter Account Leads To Random Family Crashing Diamondbacks' Booth During Game
Arizona Diamondbacks broadcaster Steve Berthiaume doesn’t use Twitter, but someone on the site is pretending to be him. The account @BertDbacks is clearly fake—and also rude—but it convinced a family of D-Backs fans that they could come visit the Fox Sports Arizona booth during Thursday’s game again...

Trevor Rosenthal Pitching Update: Look Out!
Scattershot Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal was sent to the injured list back on April 26, two days after his last outing, another alarming disasterpiece in what is shaping up to be a nightmare of a season. The official line at the time was that Rosenthal had a stomach virus that caused weight l...

Pirates Broadcaster Says Derek Dietrich's Dead Grandpa Would Be Ashamed Of His Home Run Celebrations
This feels like an overreaction. ...