Basic Mixed Drinks, Ranked

All right-thinking people would tell you that the best mixed drink, especially in the summer, is a whiskey ginger, hangover be damned. Unfortunately, we have many wrong-thinking people here at Deadspin.

After much haggling about what constitutes a mixed drink and settling on the following criteria—mixed drinks have basic ingredients (ginger beer is not a basic ingredient); use rail liquor (Whiskey Knowers with double cask black gold label sherry oak 12-year reserve will only have it neat, as they will tell you at the top of their lungs); and can be served in a plastic cup (the only thing grosser than a martini is a martini in a plastic cup)—the Deadspin staff used our previously established methodology to score the mixed drinks on a scale of 1-10.

The scientific and unimpeachable results—even though gin and tonics are gross—are as follows:

Gin and tonic 7.26

Whiskey ginger 6.80

Whiskey sour 6.22

Greyhound 6.09

Gimlet 5.50

Screwdriver 5.33

Rum and coke 5.26

Vodka cranberry 4.92

Whiskey soda 4.85

Jack and coke 4.09

Bloody Mary 3.94

Long island iced tea 3.94

Vodka tonic 3.88

Getting hit by a car

Vodka Red Bull 1.90