Behold The Upper Thigh Of Bill Simmons

We mean not to ruin your breakfast / brunch / 10:45 a.m. taco, but we weren't the only ones befuddled yesterday as to why Bill Simmons ran an extreme closeup picture of his leg hair.
Simmons' photo column — one might call it a "field trip" — was moderately entertaining, as these things go, and we didn't find it any more obnoxious than any other Fan Of A Winning Team Goes To The Opposing Stadium Of A Losing Team column. ( Some disagree with us.) But man, oh man, what could he have possibly been thinking with that closeup of the leg hair? Particularly when its main purpose is to set up a joke about his friend Stoner — broadcaster Rob Stone, in case you didn't know already — spilling Bloomin Onion sauce on his shorts. That was the whole joke, apparently. We're not sure the juice was worth the squeeze there, Bill. And that's not a euphemism. Mercifully.


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