Petros Papadakis is busy preparing for Fox's Cotton Bowl broadcast tonight, so L.A. Times columnist and Around The Horn panelist Bill Plaschke guest-hosted Petros & Money on KLAC radio in Los Angeles on Thursday. Despite a world of sports topics worth discussion in Southern California at 3 p.m. Pacific yesterday, though, Plaschke decided to open the broadcast by talking about Helen Hunt's vagina (he calls it a "lady garden") and then providing a detailed history of hotel porn technology and how to manipulate it to maximize masturbatory efficiency. Enjoy.