Breaking: Athletes Also Like to Jack Off to Internet

ESPN reports on a dangerous new problem facing that country's footballers:

Addiction to internet pornography is a growing problem among cash-rich Premiership players with time on their hands according to Peter Kay, the chief executive of the Sporting Chance clinic.

First of all, isn't internet pornography addiction sort of 2004? Are they going to keep running this story until they manage to get through every profession? Also, if they're doing it the right way, that's not "time" on their hands.

The article goes on to quote an anonymous Premiership player about the epidemic.

'On porn websites you have got advertisements for the porn and you end up spending more money on there. It's kind of like kids in a sweet shop. We finish at lunchtimes with our jobs and you can sit there for hours on end.'

See, that's the difference between professional athletes and the rest of us. I'm good for about three minutes, tops.

'Internet porn a growing problem for players' [ESPN]