Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because Fortnite Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL

The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the time-honored tradition of going out and drinking themselves stupid.

No more!

The Canucks “veterans,” such as they are, have led the players to self-institute a ban on all video games on the road. “No more Fortnite,” Bo Horvat told TSN 1040.

“In my opinion, there’s better ways to spend time on the road, whether it’s hanging with the guys in the room or going to a movie with the guys. There’s a lot of cool cities we visit and to be cooped up in your room all night, playing Fortnite, is a waste of your time.”

Everyone step out of the way, because here comes Patrik Laine with a kill worthy of a Youtube highlight reel:

I’m going to call this one right now: NHL players’ obsession with Fortnite is going to be one of the better storylines this year. You might recall last May when Jeff Marek revealed on a podcast discussion of Fortnite that one top prospect is probably not “going to make it to the NHL and it’s because of a video-game addiction.” It was bad enough that the prospect’s GM told Marek the player had been sent to counseling for it.

Marek didn’t name the player, though internet sleuths immediately set out to narrow down which prospects it could be, though Canucks fans, because of course it would be a Canuck, assumed it was their stalled first-rounder, Olli Juolevi. (Marek broke his silence to say that the player was not Juolevi.) Anyway, Juolevi is starting the season in the AHL, and anyone who possesses a True Gamer’s Heart is currently trying to force a trade from the Canucks.