CONCACAF just CONCACAF’d like never before

The most CONCACAF thing happened on Tuesday night, which is an enormous statement to make if you know anything about how CONCACAF works.

Brian Sciaretta only scratches the surface of Ronnie Brunswijk’s biography, who once helped lead a coup of Suriname, got fired from his position with that group, and then tried to lead another coup to overthrow the government that fired him. He also got suspended from soccer for five years for threatening the players on the club he owned with a handgun. A suspension that was then shortened due to lack of evidence, which...I mean either he waved a gun around or he didn’t. Maybe he waved a gun at the people who suspended him, who knows? Anyway, you should definitely check out this dude’s Wikipedia page. It’s a whole thing.

The temptation is to kind of laugh at this roly-poly dude huffing and puffing around the field, but he’s 60! The chutzpah to insert himself into the lineup! He attempted 17 passes over 60 minutes, which...is that good for 60 years old? I don’t even know. Maybe we should just be happy he just made it out ok. Would your dad? Also, how many players get to play in a stadium that’s named after them? Because this one was, because of course it was.

I mean this is how you do it. Maybe one of the Qatari princes that own PSG should just insert himself next to Neymar and Messi next year after Kylian Mbappe fucks off. Tony Stark did this in Iron Man 2, inserting himself as the driver for his racing team for the Monaco Grand Prix. This guy pulled an actual Iron Man! And did Stark have the track named after him? No, no he did not. Ronnie Brunswijk 1, Tony Stark 0.