Craig James Not Planning To Go Away

This is not the end, my only friend. Craig James lost in the Texas Senate primary, lost badly and embarrassingly, and we went and allowed ourselves to hope that maybe we wouldn't have to hear about him for a while. Ha! Craig James doesn't slink off that easily.

James is pretty clearly laying the groundwork for his fourth career: talking head on the Nightly Cable News Shouty Hour. While ESPN has already said he won't be back, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other channels looking for someone who speaks in soundbites and has a passing grasp of politics.

"There are a couple of networks that have called to see what I am willing to do," he said, hopefully lying.

"When I resigned in December, I went all in for politics, and I found out how many people enjoyed me as a broadcaster," he continued, definitely lying.

"I know that I am a communicator and have broadcasting skills that have taken me to the highest level. I can do sports, but I have a political platform now. I have had folks reach out to me about that. I can talk about sports and turn my hat around and talk about what is happening with Iran, Israel, immigration, Medicare, Medicaid."

You would be correct in reading this all as "please hire me." You would probably also be correct in assuming that someone will hire him, because he "moves the needle." Look, see, we're writing about him right now! There's a huge difference between "cares about" and "actively loathes," but good news for Craig, cable news doesn't really worry about that distinction, even while ESPN, shockingly, showed it has limits to its willingness to troll viewers. Go dick around on Fox News, Craig. You're Gawker's problem now.

Fresh off Senate run, James says he won't return to ESPN in fall [Craig James]