Dabo must be shaking in his Skechers

The University of Connecticut has won a football game.

Did it take 721 days since the last time that happened? Yes. Did the win come against Yale, not only an FCS team, but a middle-of-the-pack Ivy League team? Yes. Did UConn allow a conversion on 4th-and-11 in the final two minutes, and commit a penalty on the last play of the game to give the Elis an untimed down and one more chance for a touchdown from 30 yards out? Yes.

But the final score still said Connecticut 21, Yale 15, and that means the Huskies are 1-7, with their next game coming on Friday night, at home, against Middle Tennessee. Now, it’s highly unlikely that UConn will be able to handle the Blue Raiders — ESPN’s Football Power Index pegs the Huskies’ chances of a win at 9.5 percent — but it does present the possibility of a truly hilarious storyline in mid-November.

UConn doesn’t play after the Middle Tennessee game until a November 13 visit to Clemson. If the Huskies beat the Blue Raiders, they’ll head to Death Valley as one of the hottest teams in the country, unbeaten since October 9, against a Tigers team that, to this point, has only one win by more than a touchdown this season, over South Carolina State, and still has to face Pitt, Florida State, and Louisville before UConn’s visit.

There’s still no way that UConn should be playing against Clemson. They don’t belong on the same field, even at the Tigers’ nadir and the Huskies’ peak. But holy moly, even the hint that there might be some competition there is such a slap to fraudulent hypocrite Dabo Swinney, it’s beautiful to think about.

Meanwhile, there are two remaining FBS teams without a win this season. UNLV came painfully close on Saturday, leading through the fourth quarter until a Utah State touchdown with 35 seconds left sank the Rebels, 28-24. The latest loss for Arizona, meanwhile, was a different kind of painful — 34-0 to a Colorado team that hadn’t won since its opener against Northern Colorado, and had been outscored 112-34 in the four games since.

Yesterday, I wrote that “the Astros, of everyone remaining in the playoffs save for Bad Bitch Joc Pederson, are the only ones who seem capable of recognizing and playing into the kayfabe” of this year’s playoffs.

An update is in order after Austin Riley’s walk-off single to lift Atlanta over Los Angeles in Game 1 of the NLCS.

Atlanta’s social media manager, and reliever Luke Jackson, you just made the list!