Danny Gans Is About To Rock This Bitch

The All-Star game tips tonight around 8:30, give a take a few minutes, depending on what Danny Gans (who the hell is Danny Gans?) feels like doing to the national anthem.

The NBA's All-Star game is, in my opinion, the best in sports. All the guys celebrate the worthlessness of the exhibition by having fun and self-promoting whenever they get the chance. It's certainly a nice contrast to the Pro Bowl, where you can can catch guys sleeping on the sidelines.

Christina Aguilera and Toni Braxton are reponsible for the halftime entertainment, and I think Mary J. Blige will be involved, too. Cirque de Soleil will be involved somehow, and Wayne Newton, whose body will not have to be altered whatsoever by an undertaker when he dies, will do the player introductions.

I'm expecting an ugly, sloppy, low-scoring game, by All-Star standards. There's no Kidd, no Nash, no Iverson... point guards control these things, and there are no point guards to be found this evening. The number of botched alley-oops cound be astronomical.

Las Vegas All-Star 2007 [NBA.com]