Derrick Rose, In Dubious Taste

In a lengthy interview with K.C. Johnson of NBC Sports, Derrick Rose, the generally reticent Detroit guard, opened up about how much fun he’s having in his first season with the Pistons.

The former MVP rambled on about the quality of the organization, how great the culture is, how much he loves playing with his new teammates, and how he doesn’t mind coming off the bench – y’know, the usual media-trained banality an athlete blathers when he’s trying to make a good impression on his new franchise.

Not a hint of advice to doubters to “ kill themselves.”

But one brief and seemingly innocuous snippet stood out from what was yet one more shilling redemption interview: “Living [in Detroit] has been great.”

Bull. Shit.

First of all, you have to take Rose’s assessment of any living situation with a ton of salt. This is a guy who, in 2012, of his own volition, bought a $2.8 million condo in the Trump International Hotel & Tower in Chicago. To be fair, this was when he was with the Chicago Bulls, and a few years before Donald Trump launched his mission to destroy humanity as we know it, so Rose wouldn’t have any political reason to spend his real estate money elsewhere.

No political reasons…but plenty of aesthetic ones.

Those units were tacky, tacky, tacky. The master toilet was a throne topped with a diamond-covered lion’s head.

Listen, there’s no accounting for taste – if a dude wants a throne for a crapper, a dude’s allowed a throne for a crapper – but the fact that Rose didn’t sell his condo after Trump starting getting all Trumpy is another reason to question the former MVP’s ability to deem whether or not a living situation is, indeed, “great.”

In 2016, after the Bulls traded Rose to the New York Knicks, the oft-injured point guard decided to keep his unit in Trumpsville: Chicago. When asked if he was cool living in a building that was developed by a racist-who-claims-he-isn’t-a-racist-even-though-we-all-know-he’s-totally-a-racist, Rose explained, “I understand both sides. If you have beliefs…you stand by your beliefs.” Yes, he said “ both sides.”

But then Derrick’s truth reared its ugly head.

“The reason why I kept my place is I felt like that’s a great location,” he explained. “I felt no one can tell me where to sell my property and how to sell it. I felt like I can make a helluva profit down the line if I want to sell it or don’t want to. The location is so great. I can keep it in my family for generations.”

Is Rose now hoping for a Trump Tower: Detroit? Pray not. Michigan is polling as a swing state. The last thing the NBA needs is a case of point guard/president collusion.”