Despite All Outward Appearances, Not Every Miami Marlin Was Traded Today [UPDATE]

So the Miami Marlins are officially the unintended comedic shitshow of the offseason, having traded away some high-priced talent to the Toronto Blue Jays for prospects, a so-so shortstop of questionable judgment, an old recliner, and a $20 gift card to Waffle House (or something). But wait! What of the players who got left behind, like slugger Giancarlo Stanton? Feelings of survivor guilt perhaps? At the moment, it's more like unbridled rage.

Stanton's missive was retweeted more than 5,000 times in 15 minutes and the large majority of replies, it seems, have been in solidarity with the pissed-off star. Nothing yet from Logan Morrison, who's never been afraid to speak his mind on the Twitters.

Pitcher Ricky Nolasco, who wasn't shy about voicing his displeasure when Ozzie Guillen was canned, is apparently at a loss for words right now.

Again, if you're still a Marlins fan as of, well, this very moment, you really have to ask yourself what you've done to deserve such abhorrent treatment. There are already calls to get Bud Selig to try and muscle Jeffrey Loria out of his ownership stake. That likely won't happen any time soon for myriad reasons, but on the bright side, with any luck, maybe hockey season will be resurrected at some point. Panthers!

Update: Logan Morrison is not going to freak out, you guys. He's got other plans.

As you do, Logan Morrison. As you do.