Do Not Steal From Ugueth Urbina. Seriously.

Philadelphia Phillies reliever Ugueth Urbina takes his personal property very seriously. At a welcome-home party for the pitcher in his native Venezuela, after many drinks, Urbina discovered that one of his laborers might have stolen a firearm. According to a witness, his response was measured, rational and logical: He and some of his friends "captured" a bunch of his employees, tied them up, poured paint thinner on them, burned them and went after them with a machete.

The worker, 21-year-old Ricardo Osal, told police that Urbina and others rounded up the workers, beat them, attacked them with a machete, then splattered gasoline and paint thinner on them and burned them. ... Osal reportedly suffered machete wounds on his hands and back, while another worker, Tony Rodriguez, was burned on his back and right arm.

Urbina, whose mother was famously kidnapped in Venezuela last year, claims he was sleeping at the time of the incident. Interestingly enough, this is exactly how Larry Bowa used to start spring training.

Machete Attack Linked To Urbina [Philly.com]