Eli Manning And Wife In Desperate Need Of A Queer-Eyeing

The evolution of Eli Manning from underachieving dim-expressioned yokel to high society Super Bowl hero has hit a rough patch, as the fashionistas of the New York Post have lashed out at Eli and his new bride, Abby McGrew, for their questionable fashion sense during the recent snob-infested Contemporaries Art Party and Auction.

As you can tell from the photo, McGrew chose to step out in what appears to be the prom dress worn by every girl impregnated by age 17.:

Abby McGrew's dress is "too short, too tight, and doesn't fit well. The zipper doesn't zip and she's bursting out of it," said Linda Mann, head of Mann Media, who was eyeing photos of the beauty yesterday.

Or that. And Eli? Well, he needs some help too.

"I think he's still adjusting to Manhattan," said one sympathetic partygoer.

Hey, he appears to be wearing shoes, so that's a good start.

All Eyes On Mrs. Manning [NY Post]