From the Department of Blind Items

Hmm...

Which married journeyman pitcher tries to make up for his lack of height and size in other fun ways? He claims to be 5' 10 but in reality is no taller than at least 5'6, apparently prefers blowjobs to all other forms of sex and regularly offers his "services" to just about every woman whom he encounters. He even went as far as to approach the long-term girlfriend of a teammate. Within minutes of her boyfriend leaving the room he gazed deeply into her eyes and uttered the phrase that every girl longs to hear... "God, I'd love to eat you out right now." It seems that his wife is simply "not into that kind of thing" so the poor guy is forced to put his skills to work on other women. The teammate's girlfriend was somehow able to stop swooning long enough to decline the offer. However, another lady, who knows him a bit more intimately, confirms his claim of prowess in that particular department but observed "he has to be good with his tongue because the rest of his body is in proportion to his height."

Downtown [ OnTheDL]