Sorry, Mark Cuban, but you need to calm down

I guess you saw those numbers, Mark Cuban.

The Kansas City Chiefs already had an A-list celebrity in their huddle — Patrick Mahomes, from State Farm — and now they have another in the skybox. Taylor Swift showed up at Arrowhead Stadium last Sunday in support of Travis Kelce and shook the NFL by the shoulders. Her refreshment choices may have been basic a/f — vodka/cran and chicken fingers [Ed. note: Dipped in ketchup and “seemingly ranch”] is an order that would be placed by a University of Missouri student — but she was massive for the Chiefs’ bottom line. Front Office Sports reported on the attention and increase in merchandise sales in the wake of her attendance at Sunday’s game.

The Chiefs are now the it team in popular culture, and Cuban would prefer that attention go to his franchise. So when he appeared on one of the most influential platforms in sports — ESPN’s First Take — he used that moment to be a homewrecker.

“Taylor, if you’re listening sorry Travis, break up with him,” Cuban said on First Take. “I’ve got a bunch of good-looking single guys that play for the Dallas Mavericks.

“Taylor Swift impacts the economy,” the billionaire owner told TMZ. “She adds value everywhere she goes.”

Dirty macking is bad enough when doing it for yourself, but to do it for other people so that it increases your profit is a cardinal bro code violation. Cuban’s activity makes LL Cool J’s verses “Hey Lover,” sound like harmless flirtation.

This is the problem with capitalism, men out here using it as an excuse to break the bond we are supposed to have as a gender. Life is not a 1990s R&B music video. If a lady is spoken for, you back off and you most certainly don’t try to alley-opp one of your employees.

We can debate the seriousness of the Swift/Kelce talking stage with the intensity of climate change discussion if we so choose. Dessert tastes better than vegetables so let’s devour this cotton candy with Swift likely in attendance again for Kelce’s game this upcoming Sunday night against the New York Jets.

Respect, however, must be shown at all times. For all of you shooters out there who think you have enough game for Swift, aim those logo threes elsewhere. She has gone as far as to be seen in public twice with Kelce. Not only did she leave the stadium with him after the game last Sunday, but TMZ also has footage of them hugged up at the after-party. 

Cuban is out here with a stadium not even big enough to host a Taylor Swift concert, trying to get her to leave Kelce on read for a player who wouldn’t even be named Luka Dončić. The Mavericks’ star player is engaged.

Mind your business, Mark.