This week in the locker November 18, 2023

I and many other Chicagoans used to sit in our simple Midwestern homes, huddled by the coal stove or whatever people picture us doing in the winter (it’s not that far off, it’s just huddled at the bar), and have a good chuckle at how New Yorkers were sentenced to a life with James Dolan. Here was a guy driving two proud teams into the ground, though at least he had the convenience to do it out of one building. It was easy to highlight Madison Square Garden as a den of imbecility and disorientation. Did a huge swath of this City By The Lake ever think it would get to a point where they’d swap out for Dolan if it meant punting Jerry Reindsdorf to the nearest Russian space station’s utility closet? Read More

Whenever any discussion of changes the NHL wants to make to its standings system or points system, it has to be remembered that the league has no interest in finding ways to separate the good teams from the bad. The league likes it that very few teams are ever actually under .500 (only 10 of the 32 have records that look under .500 now). It likes that any casual fan will see a team only three or four points out of a playoff spot or division lead and conclude that they must be close even though three or four points is incredibly hard to make up in the standings. They think it sells tickets and gets people to watch. GMs like it because it keeps them from looking quite as stupid as they probably are. They really have to go out of their way to not be “in it.” Read More

The scoresheet will say that the USMNT got a 3-0 win over Trinidad and Tobago. And because it’s the Nations League, and more importantly the qualifying round for next summer’s Copa America, the result lords over all. Manager Gregg Berhalter will probably say something about the patience and fortitude the US showed in being persistent enough to break through a determined and dogged defense after the 80th minute. And then he’ll probably throw something in about how hard it is to play against a team reduced to 10 men. Read More

If Chris Berman is indeed still alive, and not just some hologram or rejected Chuck E. Cheese animatronic figure at this point, he probably wouldn’t go on air and say, “NOBODY BLOWS THEIR OWN DICK OFF LIKE THE BUFFALO BILLS!” Not because it isn’t true, but because he hasn’t updated any of his catchphrases since the Clinton administration. Read More

One month into an NHL season isn’t probably the time to panic — unless you’re the Edmonton Oilers and the pressure cooker started a couple years ago. A 3-9-1 start has already left the Oil with something close to a Sisyphian climb. Sure, there’s 69 games left, but we’re just a week from Thanksgiving, when teams are usually locked into their playoffs spots with only a small amount of variance in the season’s ensuing four months. Read More