Everyone's getting plunked — and this isn't MLB

We’re less than a week into training camp, and already we’ve seen dozens of storylines emerge from each team. The 49ers’ offense has seemed inconsistent, rookie receiver Skyy Moore is wowing audiences at Chiefs’ camp, and the Bucs are still insanely good. Who would’ve thunk?

The best storylines are the inadvertent mishaps though, the ones that make us chuckle and reaffirm our terrible notions regarding a certain player or team, and the training camp gods blessed us with two such stories on the same day.

It all started with Giants’ quarterback Daniel Jones. The former No. 6 overall pick is known for being clumsy. How else do you fall over at the 20-yard line untouched? However, we were unaware of just how clumsy the Duke product is.

How? How do you manage to accomplish something like this? This is literally the epitome of that one dude on TikTok who rants about potentially hitting orphans on the head. With the public perception of Jones, you have to imagine this was a worst-case scenario for the Giants’ signal-caller. Soon, he’s going to have Big Blue fans clamoring for Mike Glennon again. At least Glennon doesn’t “assault” disabled people. Shame on you Danny Dimes!

However, Jones’ unfortunate mishap pales in comparison to what Jaguars’ rookie kicker Andrew Mevis did on Thursday morning. Kickers are already under a ton of scrutiny with so many struggling to make easy kicks nowadays. However, Mevis took these struggles to a whole new level, hitting former Dallas Cowboys head coach Dave Campo with a wildly missed field goal attempt.

Mevis wasn’t done there though.

Mevis continued to send groups of people scattering like they were trying to find cover from cannon fodder while cowering inside the walls of a castle. He nearly wiped out team reporter Ashlyn Sullivan with a field goal.

After taking out a former head coach and nearly knocking a reporter off her feet, fans in attendance were weary of any kick off Mevis’ foot. As soon as his toes hit rubber, everyone in attendance collectively held their breath as they waited to see who Mevis’ next victim would be.

Think about how badly you have to miss for that to happen. You have to be insanely, wildly, absurdly inaccurate to invoke this kind of fear in onlookers, and this is practice. There’s no pressure on the kicker to win a game or anything. There was pressure to impress seeing as how this was Mevis’ first stop in the NFL, but after such an awful showing, this will likely be his last. I just want to see the video, because these kicks must have been some brand of atrocious to cause groups of people to run away covering their heads.

This was a nightmare for Mevis, but it fits all too well for the Jaguars. Of course, their kicker has to have the most abysmal first week of camp. Even with Urban Meyer long gone at this point, kicking still remains a big problem. With Meyer, it was kickers getting kicked by coaches. Now, the kickers are taking revenge and hitting everyone in attendance to get back at the Jaguars’ organization. I guess the team should’ve known better. Once you mess with one kicker, you’ve messed with all of them.

The Jaguars signed Elliott Fry to replace Mevis. Fry will now compete with former Panthers, Lions, and Titans kicker Ryan Santoso for the kicker spot. Santoso is 4-for-5 on field goals in his three-year NFL career. Fry is 3-of-4 on field goals in his NFL career, but he did go 14-for-14 as a member of the Orlando Apollos in the Alliance of American Football (AAF) in 2019 before the league shut down operations. As long as no more concussions are doled out though, I’m sure the Jaguars will be happy with whoever earns the job.