Evil Colombian Lady Suspended Two Matches For Sucker-Punching American Treasure Abby Wambach

In the first half of Saturday’s 3-0 win over Colombia, Abby Wambach took a fist to the face from exquisitely named forward Lady Andrade. The refs missed it completely, and Wambach was sporting a black eye after the match.

Justice was sort of done today, as FIFA (why FIFA and not Olympic officials? Who knows!) banned Andrade for Colombia’s next two matches. If they even make it that far, which they won’t, because they’re not nearly as awesome as U.S. Ambassador Of Headers And Beautiful Goals Abby Wambach, even with a shiner.

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