Fake Poop, Men In Dresses, Merril Hoge, And A Pissed-Off Steelers Fan: Killing Time At The NFL Draft

The NFL Draft is usually a hot bed of zaniness...inside. With a few cameras, some cash, and a Ziploc of fake poop, I set off for Radio City on Thursday to document the festivities at street level. Photos by Joseph Nolfo.

I was joined on this excursion by friends of the site Mike Byhoff and Joseph Nolfo. I carried a FlipCam; Joseph, his trusty SLR; and Mike, his sonorous voice and interview skills. Our goal: use a batch of fake poop whipped up earlier at Deadspin HQ, put it on some cash, and watch people step in it/contemplate going for the money.

It is an understatement to say that this was a failure. The prank was so poorly thought out and executed that it wasn't more than a minute before a man with a broom and dustbin swept the peanut butter away. I followed him briefly and am happy to confirm that he pocketed the twenty.

Down, but not out, we decided to waste more money, this time with a single. This one was on the ground for a while longer, Mike having pretended to tie his shoes while placing the bait, a tactic I had not thought of previously.

Here is a video showing several near encounters between the fake poop and various shoes. At the end, a man swoops in and takes the bill without a moment's hesitation. "Good for him" was the consensus afterward.

A clean view of the pick-up.

Making his getaway.

Disappearing into the cool evening. Godspeed, sir.

We began to walk north on Sixth Avenue. These three didn't cause nearly as much trouble as I was hoping they would.

These men moved down Sixth Avenue like some sort of green tornado, spelling their team name repeatedly and correctly.

"Get him, get him" were all the words needed to get this shot.

This woman arrived in a car that was similarly decorated and was promoting ... something. The best part of her get-up was, you guessed it, the unexplained picture of her with Sylvester Stallone.

Here's a video of Mike interviewing this superfan. She claims not only to be both a Giants and a Jets fan but a relative of Sumner Redstone as well. I believe it. And yes, that is me saying "tasteful" repeatedly at the end.

Backtracking, we came across some Redskin fans. One of them wore a custom jersey that said "OTGH," which I am sure means something. Any ideas?

This young man kept insisting that the Bills were the only New York football team. While technically right, there was no need to repeat it.

Here's that group of Redskins fans blathering on about how much they hate the Giants and how it isn't fair they have to play them twice a year. Yeah.

We ran into Merril Hoge, who had some place to be. Here he is shortly before learning that we were repping Deadspin.

Immediately afterward.

Here's a short video of Mr. Hoge. He seems to think that I was the one who actually shot the recent video of Jerry Jones. I was not.

Whenever there's a free event, it's always the scalpers who are hurt the most.

While we interviewed some polite Dolphins fans (they thought Parcells was worth a shit), this man walked by and repeatedly said, "Three Oh Five." I hope that's not a gang symbol.

How polite were these fans? Polite enough to comply when I asked them for pictures of the Chad Henne jersey. They even followed my "Do that thing where you point at the name with your thumbs or something" directions. I hope the Fins make the playoffs this year.

This guy was not happy that Mike asked him about the whole "gray dong" thing.

Yes. That does appear to be a jersey for slain Bronco Darrent Williams. Fitting tribute or poor taste? You decide!

The draft is all about marketing. Marketing the league, making the draft a capital-e Event, marketing the new players, etc. Monster got in on this and refused to give this one kid a can of its swill.

After the last of the walkups had been admitted, the line dispersed and we made our way to the trains. However, we were stopped by the most charming young woman and made our way to the evening's next stop. Unfortunately, our cameras had to be checked at the door.