Fictional Lasers, Ranked
So the Navy has a laser cannon now. It's cool, I guess, except that it does not shoot any beams of light or make a "pew pew" noise or do any of the cool shit that a laser is supposed to do, really. Fictional lasers are much better. This is a ranking of fictional lasers.
Lightsaber
Ghostbusters proton pack laser
Death Star laser
X-Wing laser
Predator shoulder-cannon laser
Independence Day alien mothership laser
Enterprise phaser cannon
TIE Fighter laser
Iron Man's gauntlet laser
Millenium Falcon quad laser
Goldfinger crotch laser
DL-44 heavy-blaster-pistol laser
Congo diamond laser
Bowcaster laser
E-11 blaster-rifle laser
Klingon disruptor laser
Ma'Tok staff laser
Mars Attacks! laser
Moonraker laser
Chitauri Scepter laser
Independence Day alien-fighter-craft laser
Terminator T-800 laser rifle
War of the Worlds tripod laser
Real Genius laser
Superman's eye laser
Cyclops's eye laser
Tron lasers
James Bond's watch laser
Star Trek phaser
Being hit by a car
Star Trek: The Next Generation phaser
MLB Playoff Picture: Biggest Races to Watch on Final Weekend
The Numbers Behind Raul Rosas Jr.’s First UFC Main Event
Browns Defense Is Struggling Without Myles Garrett
6 Most Underrated NBA Teams Heading Into the 2026-27 Season
MLB Best Bets Today: 3 Picks for Thursday September 24 Slate
- Diamondbacks vs. Padres Friday Best Betting Picks and Predictions
- MLB Best Bets Today: 3 Picks for Thursday September 24 Slate
- College Football Week 4 Picks: 3 Best Bets for Saturday
- Best Bets for Falcons vs. Packers Thursday Night Football
- MLB Best Bets Today: 3 Picks for Wednesday, September 23rd
- The Best Heisman Long Shots to Watch Before Week 4
- Dana White’s Contender Series Week 7 Predictions and Picks

