Fill Me Up! Fill Me Up! Yeah! Good Job!
We sure were surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked us for a ride home and ended up blowing us. Our leg wasn't bugging us too much, and the weather was so nice, and every day after school Lisa and us would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub.
Dear Lord Jesus, we do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, we really must insist that you help us win the election tomorrow because we deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. We realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now we're asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put us in office where we belong so that we may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
If you decide if you like apples, pears or bananas, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.
• American Apparel • Smirnoff Ice • Maxell • Sony • Reddit • PC Magazine • Toyota Yaris
- Spurs vs. Thunder Game 1 Best Betting Picks and Predictions
- Canadiens vs. Sabres Game 6 Betting Picks and Predictions
- UFC Vegas 117 Betting Picks: Best Props and Predictions for Saturday Night
- MLB Picks Today: Twins and Mariners Headline Friday's Bets
- NBA Playoff Best Bets: Cavaliers vs Pistons and Spurs vs Timberwolves Picks
- PGA Championship Picks: Scottie Scheffler, Rory McIlroy and More
- Wednesday MLB Best Bets: Jacob Misiorowski Strikeout Prop Leads Card

