Finish Your Anabolic Steroids Or There Will Be No Cartoons

Simply being hearty and cornfed is no longer enough of an edge for young Iowa athletes. Some dads feel that they've got to add a little something extra to their sons' morning Count Chocula.

Meet Todd Gerleman, 44, of Gilbertville, who was arrested on Friday for "distributing a controlled substance to a minor." In this case, the distribution came in the form of a needle in the kid's ass. Oh, and the youngster in question is 14. What took dad so long?

The boy had assaulted his mother at her Gilbertville home Nov. 19, and officers who responded found a syringe and 105 pills in the boy’s bedroom, court records state. The teen told authorities his father gave him the pills during an earlier weekend visitation, records state. The father “admitted to bringing the needle and pills from his residence ... and supplying them to ‘motivate’ his son about sports.”

How this is not Bill Romanowski is a major upset.

From Steroid Nation: Gilbertville is a hotbed of high school wrestling. Several D-1 wrestlers started their careers at Don Bosco High School in the small Iowa town. Hopefully they were clean.

Wouldn't it have been a lot easier for Gerleman just to change his last name?

Iowa Teenager Assaults Mother; Cops Find Father Juiced Up The Son For 'Motivation' [Steroid Nation] Man Accused Of Giving Son Steroids [Waterloo Courier]