Football Page 1503 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Fantasy Football Screwjob We Can All Enjoy
The heartwarming tale of a non-fan invited to a draft and given a player list from 2005. He ended up with Priest Holmes, Marvin Harrison, Torry Holt and Steve McNair. But not Brett Favre, because he was retired. [Couch Groove Football]...

Jimmy Johnson To Make Tropical Paradise Hell For Other People On <em>Survivor</em>
Perhaps confident that ExtenZe All-Natural Male Enhancement tablets can sell themselves, Johnson is exiling himself to Nicaragua for the next season of Survivor....

Reggie Bush Has Heisman Taken Away From Him Even Though He Didn't Kill His Wife And A Waiter
I've been looking for a way to shamelessly steal that Norm Macdonald joke for years now. Thanks USC! [USA Today]...

Ochocinco. Gambling. In His Briefs. Sure, Why Not.
Chad appears to be having a grand old time in Vegas. Just don't ask where he keeps his roll of quarters. [Twitter]...

Mark Chmura, Former Tight End, Lover Of Teenage Hot-Tub Parties, To Be Inducted Into Packer Hall Of Fame
He will be inducted Saturday night: "I had to grow up," said Chmura, who was acquitted in 2001 of child enticement and third-degree sexual assault charges stemming from a high school postprom party he attended in suburban Milwaukee."[WisconsinRapidsTribune]...

SMU's Focus On Academics Is Destroying Its Football Program
Fans, boosters and even the coach are up in arms over the rejection of two recruits on academic grounds, even though they qualify for almost any other program in the country. It's the polar opposite of the classic debate, and it's fascinating....

The Stadium Capacity Arms Race Is On
Michigan Stadium, opening after renovations, will again be the nation's largest with a capacity of 109,901. They've still got a ways to go to catch Pyongyang's Rŭngrado May Day Stadium, which seats 150,000. [Free Press]...

Pro Football Hall Of Fame Awards, Woooop, Slide Back, Back, Back Into Irrelevance
Awful, awful leatherhead Chris Berman is the recipient of this year's Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award, an award that had been previously given to actual sportscasters like Pat Summerall for their "exceptional contributions" to TV pigskin. World, stop honoring this man....

Florida Manages To Commit Recruiting Violations On Facebook
Today in "Snitches Get Stitches" news, a rival school—not necessarily an SEC rival—has tattled on two Florida coaches for improperly communicating with recruits over Facebook on separate occasions. The improper method: public wall postings. Wait, what?...

Chad Ochocinco Is Looking For A Classy Broad
On his reality dating show: "I don't have nobody to cook for me. I don't have nobody to go to McDonald's with, or to take to the high-end restaurants like Red Lobster." [Dan Patrick Show]...

Surveying The Wreckage Of The Matt Millen Era
Today, the Lions released Daniel Bullocks, the last player remaining from a 5-year stretch of drafts. That's 0-for-40. Here's what became of them all, and I warn you, it's not pretty....

Tennessee Players In Bar Brawl, But Is There A Potential NCAA Violation In Play?
If you're a UT player and would like to stay on the team, just avoid Cumberland Avenue. And if you're a regular person and don't want to get beaten up by the UT players, also avoid Cumberland Avenue....

Brandon Marshall Won't Take Your Guff, Small Child
This is how the Dolphins' WR reacted to a 5-year-old telling him to "get out of my face." Give it three months and that'll be Chad Henne dangling. [Orlando Sentinel, via Second-String Fullback]...

JaMarcus Russell Arrested For Purple Drank
Russell was nabbed at his Mobile, Ala. home this afternoon after an undercover operation. The controlled substance: cough syrup with codeine. Get Outside The Lines on the case! [Press-Register]...

Quarterback Fudge Van Hooser Commits To Tulane, Becomes An Early Name Of The Year Favorite
Tulane received an oral commitment today from an Montgomery, Ala., quarterback named Fudge Van Hooser today. We can only hope that a few years down the road Fudge gets drafted by the Pa...nthers. Here's a video of him running track. [NewOrleans.com]...

Walter Payton Runs The Wildcat
Sweetness taking the snaps in 1984 is video proof that the "Wildcat" (under many names) has been around lot longer than Bill Snyder. Also, Payton was a beast. [via Smart Football]...

Al Davis's Love Of McDonald's Kept Sean Payton From Coaching The Raiders
"You like cheeseburgers?" Davis asked Payton, when courting him for the Raiders job. One Big Mac and some KFC coleslaw later, Payton turned the gig down, and coached the Saints to a title. Somewhere, Davis wonders where it all went wrong. [Via]...

Metaphor Becomes Reality At Titans' Stadium
LP Field just cannot catch a break. After workers finally cleared out all the troublesome floodwater, a 5- to 6-feet-deep sinkhole was found at the stadium. It has something to do with "substandard materials" that are not Vince Young....

Mike Vick Birthday Shooting Might Have Been Over Cake
Vick's 30th birthday went off with a bang, as his dogfighting co-defendent Quanis Phillips was shot early this morning. Rumors have it that a dispute between Phillips and Vick went down after someone shoved cake in someone's face. Seriously. [Daily Press]...

Bucs Coach On What Happens In Training Camp: "You Take Off Your Underwear"
Here's Tampa Bay coach Raheem Morris giving his thoughts on what happens at a NFL training camp: "You take off your underwear, you put on your big boy pads and you put your face on people." The Bucs were 3-13 last year....