Football Page 1524 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Julius Peppers Would Like To Buy The World A Coke (And Some Overpriced Champagne)
The Bears lineman celebrated his new $91 million contract by buying 25 bottles of $350 champagne for guests at a nightclub. The deal contains Chicago's standard "Brewster Clause" requiring him to spend the entire amount within 30 days. [ChicagoTribune]...
Jets Bonus Goes Straight To Cromartie's Baby Mamas
Antonio Cromartie has seven kids by six women in five states, and a partridge in a pear tree. The Jets fronted him some cash to clear up his paternity suits before he reports to camp. Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL!...
Big Ben's Night Out In "Millyvegas": What The Bartenders Saw
Questions swirl around the night that led to sexual assault charges against Ben Roethlisberger. Fellow bargoers and bartenders offer accounts of binge drinking in a sexually charged atmosphere, and their takes on what really went down....
The Exodus From Arizona Continues
Dolphins sign LB Karlos Dansby. Moving from a dry heat to a wet heat. Not wise....
Big Ben Round Up
Here's the latest on the Roethlisberger- unpleasantness. The De-Complicator is powering up and is ready to go....
Mike Minter Has Moonage Daydream
Former Panther's safety Mike Minter submits himself to a battery of tests to further fitness science- or visit dimensions far beyond the reaches of our telescopes....
NFL Free Agency Update
The Ravens have done good and Julius Peppers has signed with the Chi-town Bears, but did you know other NFL free agents are making money? Time to break out the de-complicator and see what is going on....
Ben Roethlisberger Reportedly Accused Of Second Sexual Assault
TMZ reports that police in Milledgeville, Georgia, have interviewed Roethlisberger about sexual assault claims made against him early this morning. The incident allegedly took place at Capital City Pizza, "known for their crazy college dancing atmosphere then anything they serve."...
Shady Business Practices In Miami
Demand, meet supply: the Dolphins will charge more money for fans who want to sit in the shade. Good, now they can watch Chad Henne struggle in relative comfort....
Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....
Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....
It's A Whole New NFL (Or At Least A New Art Department)
I hope you like change, because the NFL sure does. The Lamar Hunt and George Halas trophies have been redesigned — some would say emasculated — but that's far from the only new look we find scary and different....
Rich Eisen's 40-Yard Dash An Amusing Special-Effects Bonanza
When he isn't impersonating Howard Cosell, Rich Eisen is straight running things on the NFL Network. Things like the 40-yard dash, which Rich ran in a slight-breeze-inducing 6.25 seconds....
Football Team Doesn't Like The News, So They Steal The Newspaper
Bad: Texas A&M-Commerce players busted with drugs. Worse: players take every copy on campus of the school newspaper running the story. Worserer: coach is proud of their "team-building exercise."...
Dissecting The Favre Ad, And The Fan Who Placed It
Well, we got our hands on the full-page ad one fan took out in the Hattiesburg American to implore Brett Favre to return (ginormous version below). And let me say, he is just the worst type of person....
Brandon Marshall Testifies In Williams Trial: "I Think About It Every Night"
Both Westword and the Denver Post have ongoing live blogs of the Darrent Williams murder trial, including Brandon Marshall's testimony on Friday that he may have "escalated" the confrontation between the Williams' party and the accused murderer. [Westword; Denver Post]...
Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch: Antichrist Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Beast....
Porn, Pancakes, Jon Kitna And Jesus: Go Ahead, Rank Them. You Can't.
Some lucky parishioners got a visit from Jon Kitna at a very special breakfast yesterday, called "Porn And Pancakes: NFL Style." It's precisely nothing like you're imagining....
Three Questions About The NFL's New Overtime System
So the league appears to finally be changing the overtime rules. At first glance, the proposal is much better than the old sudden death. But then we got to wondering....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Money Changers Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....