Football Page 1660 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Where Not To Park Your Lamborghini
Whenever Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs wakes up, groggy, confused, wondering where his car is, we hope he turns on CBS-2 in Chicago. There, he will learn exactly where his car is. Sorry: His Lamborghini....
Your College Football Preseason Wish List
Anyone who doubts the power of Deadspin readers needs to be reminded that you guys don't mess around at all. Upon a call to arms for the Hugh Johnson Project revival, all day the IM windows have been popping up like acne on a Pizza Hut delivery boy's face. This preseason wish list for Hugh II: And T...
Tom Brady has eight more bastard children to go if he wants to catch up to Travis Henry. The Denver Broncos running back "fathered" nine children scattered about the southern United States, using nine different mommies. Somehow that $25 million contract wasn't enough to write off his unpaid child su...
Goodell Definitely Suspends Vick Indefinitely
Back in Catholic high school, when our dress code was a shirt and tie, one day a student came to class in proper dress code. When the teacher stepped out for a second, he tore off his collared shirt and khaki pants to reveal his underlying outfit: a waterskiing wetsuit. He didn't get in trouble for ...
Honestly, What's NCAA Football Without Hugh Johnson?
High atop the Family Feud board of most popular questions Deadspinions posed to the Democratic Assembly of Deadspin Administrating Saturdays/Sundays (D.A.D.A.S.S.) was, "Who did Sussman bang to get the job?" "Will you guys bring Hugh Johnson back?" Well, I hope the logo hovering over this paragraph...
NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Dance, Marshall Fella, Dance
Last night, in Huntington, W.Va., the Marshall football team hosted a Women's Clinic, meant, apparently, to explain to feeble minded babymakers the basic concepts of football so that they will understand when to leave the room, when to leave the house and when to just bring more beer. It's not easy...
Michael Vick, Born For The Arena League
It is a great sign for Mr. Mexico that, just a few days after word leaked that Michael Vick will plead guilty to electrocuting puppies — and a few days before he actually will — there's already people in the league who are lobbying for him to play when he gets out of jail. Sure, it's the Arena Leagu...
Michael Vick Hall Shall Stand!
Here's something we didn't know: At Virginia Tech, they actually have a Michael Vick Hall. (You can kind of see it on that map, if you squint.)...
FIU Must Protect This House!
You might remember, during Miami announcer Lamar Thomas' insane rant during the Miami-Florida International fight last year, when he said something to the effect of, "you don't come into our house pulling that," or some similar nonsense. Well guess what, Lamar? Ned and his band of FIU faithful are a...
NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets
This is Marques Slocum, defensive tackle for the Michigan Wolverines. He has a Facebook page. And it's quite glorious....
The Appropriate Way To Showcase Your Team Loyalty
We're still a month and a half from the ole Red River rivalry game between Oklahoma and Texas, and, as always, emotions are running high. How high? Oh, "bust open the opposing fan's scrotum" high. (That's pretty high.)...
The Day The Chargers Avoided Disaster
On last night's "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," the plucky host who stole Larry Sanders' show out from under him mocked the NBC SundayNightIsFootballNight crew for analyzing how the NFL and the Atlanta Falcons would deal with Michael Vick's guilty plea. We understand the easy joke — Who cares abo...
NFL Season Preview: Green Bay Packers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
College Football Polls Are Not Particularly Diverse
Nothing signals the oncoming bumrush of the college football season than the top 25 polls. Unlike every other collegiate sport, the polls actually have a concrete effect on the postseason, as much as college football has a "postseason." Therefore, you'd expect them to be thoroughly researched and su...
Your Piece Of Michael Vick History
Sure, you can buy your Michael Vick chew toys and Ron Mexico T-shirts and Ookie jerseys, but don't you want a real part of Vick history? Considering he's not likely to play in the NFL again — no, he'll totally turn into an accurate passer when he's back in 2010 — don't you want something truly conne...
This Also Happens Often To Swimmers
SCANDAL at the University of Hawaii! Apparently, some fella named Ian Sample, who used to play football for the Rainbows, claims coach June Jones used to manipulate drug tests. We're not sure we understand what the big deal is — if you can't get stoned playing for Hawaii, dammit, where can you get s...
NFL Preview: San Francisco 49ers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Comcast Lowers Itself To Impersonating You
Our frustrations with the Big Ten Network have been well-documented, but it doesn't really matter, because whenever corporations argue with each other, the only certainty is that we'll all lose. But it doesn't stop their fighting. And now they're using some unconventional methods....