Football Page 1717 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: You Know Where You Can Plant Your Flag
• Notre Dame 40, Michigan State 37. After the game, Michigan State tailback Javon Ringer said, "Give all the credit to Notre Dame. They stepped up when they had to." Well, that's one way to say it. Maybe Notre Dame stepped up, but they couldn't have done so if Michigan State hadn't laid down. Let's ...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
You know what an older gentleman, sensitive to the slow deterioration of his once-strong body, wants above all else? Wall-to-wall national coverage of his case of the shits. Thanks, ABC. - Tuffy Rhodes...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• Does anyone else hear "Please like me! I fit in!" over and over again when Linda Cohn does football highlights? - Derek, Pittsburgh...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
The sideline reporter at the Georgia-CU game just said that Ugga, Georgia's mascot, is "built for pleasure, not speed". Yikes. - Hotwingz0...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY...
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
Week 3, Previewed The Tecmo Way
When we go through our Friday selection of various weekend previews, we hit the usual suspects (King, Simmons, Zimmerman, O.J.) and then always make sure to drop in on The Ex-Burgher's Tecmo Bowl previews. Essentially, he uses the Tecmo Bowl prototype (with updated rosters!) from the Tecmo Super B...
"Shh ... Don't Tell Him ... Let's Just Watch Him Go"
This, friends, is UNLV coach Mike Sanford. Two weeks ago, his Rebels lost to Iowa State 16-10, on a close call late. UNLV's wide receiver was ruled out of bounds, and Iowa State left the field with the win....
Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....
"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....
Do Not Disrespect Joey Porter's Dogs
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that...
He Actually Will Wear A Leather Helmet
Need to be reminded of just how old you really are? Old Falcons kicker Morten Andersen, considered one of the best kickers of all time, last made a Pro Bowl in 1996. The guy was an All-American kicker for Michigan State in 1981....
The NFL Doesn't Want You To Get Drunk
So the NFL is running a contest called Take A Player To School Day, which encourages kids between the ages of 6 and 12 to apply for a player to accompany them to school....
Hey, Can I Get A Do-Over?
Attention Jeff George: If your son's Pee Wee football league needs referees this weekend, we know some guys who are available. After a wildly entertaining, somewhat comical ending that kind of reminded us of the final scenes in Caddyshack, the Pac-10 wound up suspending the officiating crew that muc...
Look Inside Big Ben. WAY Inside
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made his return from an appendectomy — and, ostensibly, from that little head-vs.-pavement business — last night, and it didn't go well, with the Jaguars shutting out Big Ben and the Steelers 9-0 on Monday night. It was the lowest scoring game in Monday Night ...
David Akers, Kicker Badass
If you needed any more proof that Philadelphia Eagles kicker David Akers is ready to take on all comers, we present David Akers ... kickboxer! We suppose, if you're kicking for a living anyway, you might as well figure out how to kick, you know, humans....
In Case It Slipped Your Mind, Ohio State Still Hates Michigan
For the record, we're pretty sure that the Pat Forde-recommended Dead Schembechlers hate the University of Michigan more than any punk band ever hated anything, and that's saying something. So if you also hate the Wolverines, you won't want to miss the Hate Michigan Rally on Nov. 17 in Columbus, hea...
It's 3 1/2 In The Pokey For Clarett
Word just came in about an hour ago: Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett has pled guilty to two felonies and will spend at least the next 3 1/2 years in prison. Jury selection was about to begin in the case, but lawyers accepted the plea of 7 1/2 years, with the first parole opportunity p...
That's Not A Fun Way To Lose
Saturday was an outstanding day for college football — particularly if you went to Syracuse, grumble grumble — but it was not so pleasant for Oklahoma fans, who, as this video rather clearly shows, were screwed out of a big road victory against Oregon. It's funny, because one wouldn't think it would...