Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4

You know what an older gentleman, sensitive to the slow deterioration of his once-strong body, wants above all else? Wall-to-wall national coverage of his case of the shits. Thanks, ABC. - Tuffy Rhodes

Can we start calling him Joe Pooterno, head coach of the Penn State Shittany Lions? - Steve 97LSC

Bonnie Bernstein has never reported a more professional story than when she informed the crowd that Joe Pa had to go take an emergency shit. - Shenanigans

RE: The Arkansas Punter: Suuuuuunnshine! - EverythingClever

Play of the day: my friend waking me up with a large pizza. I hadn't seen him since 7 am. - goathair_3

I bet on UConn, I'm a UConn fan, UConn's winning... and this game still makes me want to throw up. - Kevin

Watching Indiana and UConn play football would be like watching U of Miami players try to finish a Sudoku puzzle. - smithcp22

Bob Griese just said about Brian Robiskie that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it?" Nobody wanted to mention the pink elephant in the booth. - BestTimeEver

Gary Thorne is doing the WVU/ECU game, and said that ECU kicker, robert lee, was one of his heroes... didn't think Gary had THAT flag flying in his yard. - Donald

They just showed highlights of Ohio State's national title run on ABC. I'm anxiously anticipating a "Where are They Now?" segment featuring Maurice Clarett later in the broadcast. - JWaldman11

I watched the end of the 2nd quarter in the ASU-Cal game and apparently the Pac-10 uses didfferent rules than the rest of the country. The ball doesn't start on ready for play after turnovers or first downs, only on the snap. How do they use different rules? - DBarry14

I thought I just heard "Huston Nutt is gonna bust if his team doesn't get a touchdown on this drive." - Dynamic Hispanic

That's all we've got for today. Big thanks to William for that curious picture of the Arkansas punter. My sincere thank to you all of you... you magnificent beasts, you.