NFL Page 1344 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...
Chris Henry Is Just Making Up Offenses Now
OK. Are you sitting down? We feel like you should be sitting down. It's probably for the best if you're sitting down. Take a deep breath. Have a brandy. You ready? Cool. Here goes....
It's Been One Year Since Big Ben's Curbing
You know, time really flies when you've banged your head against pavement at 50 miles per hour. It's like you can't get perspective on matters, or something. Yes, folks, it has been exactly one year today since Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle accident. It's a day Steelers fans will always remember,...
Jeff Reed Is The Most Fun Kicker Of All Time
You might remember our little Christmas Eve present for you last year: Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed taking a picture of him nearly nude in the mirror....
Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...
This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...
Jack Trudeau Likes Alcohol ... Policemen, Not So Much
It's that time of year. The kids are graduating from high school, and former Colts quarterbacks are getting them shitfaced. It seems like just yesterday, it was me donning the cap and gown, getting my diploma, and Jeff George threatening to beat my ass if I couldn't do a keg stand for 45 seconds....
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...
Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...
It Must Be Hard To Find A Reliable Source In Dogfighting
ESPN's "Outside the Lines" has an anonymous guy who was willing to tell tales of Michael Vick's dog fighting involvement. The man's a 30-year dog fighting veteran who's telling his tale in the hopes of legitimizing the "sport." He says of Vick:...
What Ron Mexico Is Jamming To
As our man Ron Mexico continues to sort out his various legal difficulties, we smile as WBRS Sports Blog digs up an old Michael Vick iTunes playlist, from back in those days in which Michael Vick was considered the most marketable name in the NFL....
Andrew Walter Will Hear Your Confession Now
We're a bit late on this, but alas:...
AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....
You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....
Clinton Portis Has Ron Mexico's Back
Ron Mexico might be going through a particularly difficult time right now, but it's worth noting that he has one significant booster: Deadspin Hall of Famer Clinton Portis. He'd just like you and your ilk to leave Mr. Vick and his puppies alone....
The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...
If There Is No Poontang For Plax, Then Plax Is Leaving
According to the New York Post's Page Six, Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress had a difficult time breaking through the coverage last night....