NFL Page 1389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Tecmo Bowl Playoff Preview
The glory of Tecmo Bowl has been well documented all across this great Interweb, but we're still suckers for it every time. Like most of you, we suspect, we spent a large percentage of our formative years playing Tecmo Bowl; with Timm Rosenbach, Johnny Johnson and J.T. Smith, our Phoenix Cardinals...
Get Your Piping Hot Playoff Tickets
Well, we're just a few days from playoff weekend, so just to remind us why we were wrong to spurn our mother's insistance that we become some sort of banker, we thought we'd check out eBay and see how much the highest-priced tickets are going for. We're only including auctions that have at least ...
Sean Taylor Needs To Practice His Spitting
If you watched last weekend's Redskins-Buccaneers game, you saw Washington safety Sean Taylor ejected for spitting on Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman, and you know when you spit on a Marine who has been known to drive his Hummer into vehicles that contain his wife and child, there will be r...
The Curse Of Queen City
A beleaguered Cincinnati sports fan, still reeling from Carson Palmer's knee implosion and an ugly first-round playoff exit, implores us to feel his pain by reeling off the succession of brutal injuries to befall the Queen City at the worst possible times. Witness:...
Say It Ain't So, Chad
So you know, Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson — forever known as Our Hero around here — did not get in a fight with his coach Marvin Lewis at halftime of Sunday's loss to the Steelers. Who said he did, you ask?...
When The Packers Are Down, Everyone's Down
We're going to be in Green Bay for a wedding this Friday — that's right, it's a wedding ... in the afternoon ... on Friday the 13th ... in Green Bay ... in January — and we were looking at what to do the rest of the time in Green Bay. Guess what? Nada. Wait, there's a couple of Starbucks; they hav...
The Downside Of Faith And Football
When we first started this site, we were wondering the best places to find sources from within teams to dish some dirt. We figured beat reporters, sports information guys, groupies, so on. But one friend told us: "Team chaplains. Those guys know everything. Might be tough to get them to talk, thou...
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts Of Life
We don't know about you, but when we want the latest in online sports interviews, we brush right past ESPN.com and The Sporting News and head over to The 700 Club. Yep, Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network has a sports section, which includes inspirational tales from the NFL, Major Leagu...
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
The NFL Says Goodbye To Its Boner Pills
In a tragic day for that assuredly small crossover of "sports fans" and "people who take pills in order to get erections," the NFL has decided to discontinue its relationship with erectile dysfunction drugs, citing "growing concerns about increasingly risqu creative in the category." (We think tha...
Playoff Predictions Roundup: We Suck
As we giggle over this photo of Jeremy Shockey — honestly, all this picture needs is that sad "Peanuts" music playing in the background, like on that episode of "Arrested Development" — we thought we'd look at our panel of "experts" did in their wild-card weekend picks. Needless to say, when we sa...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...
Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....
Playoff Pants Party: Panthers Vs. Giants
We think Tom Coughlin freaks us out a little bit. In our nightmares, when we've done something vaguely wrong that we don't understand but know that it was terrible, Coughlin's the type of guy who shows up in our dreams, screaming at us, like the drill sergeant gym teacher in "Beavis & Butthead." ...
Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....