NFL Page 777 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roger Goodell Is Trying His Best To Appear Woke
Kaepernick collusion case be damned, Roger Goodell is trying his best to be the corporate face of social progress for the NFL....
White-Collar Crime Is Apparently Not Enough To Halt An NFL Career
After pleading guilty to federal charges of insider trading, linebacker Mychal Kendricks will be sentenced in January of next year. That doesn’t mean he can’t still continue his side hustle as a pro football player, though....
I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did
First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump....
At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...
Sean McVay Is Doing The Spooky Brain Thing Again
They say that humans only use 10 percent of our brains. They go on to say that the claim that humans only use 10 percent of our brains—in addition to being a major plot point of the delightful Albert Brooks movie Defending Your Life—is a myth. Truly they cannot be trusted on this matter, but this mu...
Doug Marrone Claims He's "So Pissed Off" At Not Reaching A Super Bowl That He's Never Watched One
Jaguars coach Doug Marrone probably should have coached in the Super Bowl last season and, if he had, he would have witnessed his first Super Bowl action in, uh, over 40 years, somehow? Marrone told ESPN today that he didn’t watch last season’s Super Bowl, not even to scout for the Patriots this wee...
Never Mind, The Raiders Actually Want Martavis Bryant Now
The Oakland Raiders dropped wide receiver Martavis Bryant 11 days ago, insisting at the time that the guy they traded a third-round pick for on draft night wasn’t released because of a possible drug suspension, but rather because he wasn’t very good and kept missing practice. Now, they’ve taken him ...
A New Jersey federal judge dismissed a class-action lawsuit that accused the New York Jets of screwing over PSL holders. “Agreement expressly disclaims that plaintiff is not acquiring the PSL as an investment or with a view to profiting from future distribution or resale, and further that Defendants...
I Drafted My Fantasy Team Based On A Rigorous Evaluation Of NFL Players' Social Media Personalities
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
Bills Finally Admit Nathan Peterman Has No Business Being A Starting QB
The Buffalo Bills have finally stopped trying to make Nathan Peterman happen. Head coach Sean McDermott said today that rookie quarterback Josh Allen would start this Sunday for the Bills’ game against the Chargers....
The Skins Are About To Officially Lose Another Bullcrap Attendance Streak
The news in this Washington Post report is less that the Skins will fail to sell out their home opener against the Colts Sunday—their streak of sellouts has been illegitimate garbage for literally years—and more that the Skins have reached such a state of desperation that they’re finally revealing, ...
Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....
Sam Darnold Fills The NFL's Poise-Shaped Hole
It was a mere nine years ago that a rookie Jets quarterback was so awe-inspiring in how he didn’t screw up that observers were only able to describe him with one word: poise. Well, Mark Sanchez now has a true heir. In last night’s season opener, first-year Jets QB Sam Darnold went 16-for-21 with 198...
What Football Needs To Be Entertaining To Me, A Non-Football Watcher
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
There Is Nothing More American Than Burning Your Dumb Sneakers
“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the...
Jon Gruden Says He'll "Look At The Reasons Why" The Raiders Had No Pass Rush
The Raiders actually looked feisty in the first half of their season-opener against the Rams last night. There were sparks of creativity on offense, a vintage Beast Mode touchdown, and a 13-10 halftime lead to mark head coach Jon Gruden’s return to the NFL. Everything fell apart in the second half, ...
The Jets Say They Knew Everything The Lions Were Going To Run
After a true and prodigious walloping of the Lions, the Jets defense said they knew exactly what was coming. And while that’s the sort of thing defenses like to say, there were plays in Monday night’s 48-17 chucklefest that didn’t look like they could’ve happened any other way....
Maybe Change Is A Bad Thing?
It was a bad week to be an NFL coach making his debut on their new team. After Jon Gruden’s Raiders decided to allow the Rams to score 23 straight points on their way to a 33-13 loss, new coaches ended the first week of the regular season a combined 0-7, breaking a 17-year NFL record....
Marshawn Lynch Puts Both Teams On His Back For The First Touchdown Of The Gruden Era
The soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders are getting it done early in Oakland thanks to one of the strongest feats of human strength ever seen on a football field. Marshawn Lynch showed he still had some “Beast Mode” left in the tank when he dragged almost the entirety of the Rams’ defense, and a couple of ...
The Lions Should Probably Never Play Like That Ever Again
It was a terrible, awful, no good and very bad day for Detroit’s two Matts—Stafford and Patricia—in the Lions’ Monday night season opener against the Jets. Stafford threw four terrible interceptions and finished with a quarterback rating of 47.9, and his shit sandwich of an evening was topped by a p...