Governor Fights Anti-Freedom Soccer Officials

You know, we liked New Jersey more when its governor did it with dudes. Apparently, current governor Richard Codey is furious that the National Anthem was not played before the England-Colombia soccer game at the Meadowlands earlier this week. "I was shocked, absolutely shocked," Codey blared to the bufuddled FIFA and U.S. Soccer representatives, who said they had never heard such a complaint before.

It's standard protocol for the anthems of the two nations actually playing in the games to be broadcast, but Codey — who, we repeat, does not have sex with dudes — was not dissuaded in his quest to defend America against the "football" terrorists. A befuddled MLS spokesperson just kind of shrugged his shoulders and said, "Uh, sorry, we guess." Codey is expected to eventually simmer and get back to the daily business of running New Jersey, which mainly consists of shaking hands with shady characters looking for sweetheart Esplanade deals.

Officials Puzzled Over Anthem Outrage [SoccerNet] U.S. Anthem Snubbed [Newark Star-Ledger]