Guess How Many Points Deadspin Scored Against John Salley

Why in the name of NBA JAM shouldn't Deadspin EIC A.J. Daulerio and contributing editor Drew Magary fly to LA to play 2-on-2 with ex-NBA power forward John Salley (aka Spider) and the short but court-prowess possessing Kevin Hench (the Henchman)?

On November 12, at the Cheviot Hills recreation center in sunny Los Angeles, a game was played. It was epic in scope, and dunktastic in nature. The pertinent details, then the work of art itself, below.

Team Spider and the HenchmanJohn Salley: ex-pro baller; ladykiller; vegan; reality star; trash talker

Kevin Hench: vertically-challenged writer; clutch outside shooter; Celtics lover; trash talker

vs.

Team DeadspinA.J. Daulerio, Editor-in-chief: rocker of a red, body-clinging T; owner of tasteful facial hair and of weak lungs/stomach; possessor of ill lay-up skills; trash talker

Drew Magary, Contributing Editor*: slinger of strong coaching lingo-slinger (*injured during warm-ups)

Salley's agent's intern: Hoopster with Sideshow Bob hair

Behold the artistry below:

Listen to the Spider and the Henchman. And Mr. Boomshakalaka is back— get your copy of . Because it is peanut butter and jam time. It just is.