He Can Eat 50 Eggs

He was smiling... That's right. You know, that, that Carl Monday smile of his. He had it on his face right to the very end. Hell, if they didn't know it 'fore, they could tell right then that they weren't a-gonna beat him. That old Carl smile. Oh, Carl. He was some boy. Cool Hand Carl. Hell, he's a natural-born world-shaker.

If you think callin' it your job don't make it right, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

• Smirnoff Ice • Sony • American Apparel • PC Magazine • Toyota Yaris • Maxell