He Does, However, Have Nice Pores

Carolina Panthers defensive tackle Kris Jenkins, after admitting that he "drank too much" in the offseason, sent this Valentine to Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp yesterday:

"I hate him. Everybody says I'm supposed to be polite when I talk to y'all, but I hate him. He talks too much, he doesn t make sense, he s fat, he s sloppy, and he acts like he s the best thing since sliced bread. He s ugly, he stinks, his mouth stinks, his breath stinks, and basically his soul stinks, too. Not too many people have personalities like that and survive in life. I don't know how he does it.

Jenksins' Spirit Sapped No Longer [The State]