Here's Shawn Marion As The Super Mario Bros. Character You Never Asked For

First of all, it makes no sense because Bowser doesn't come anywhere near World 1-1, and Mario could never carry any cool stuff on his back, like, say, an NBA championship trophy. But that's fine, Dallas Mavericks CGI worker bees. You have fun with your green screen and rampant video game-revisionist tendencies. (Mostly, though, we're bitter that the obvious Stern-as-Bowser mashup didn't truly come to pass. Wasted opportunity there, no doubt.)