His Mama Named Him Ruslan, I'mma Call Him Ruslan

I don't know if this is as big a deal as crowning a new IBF, WBC, or WBO champion, but there's a brand new WBA world heavyweight champion. Ruslan Chagaev defeated Nikolay Valuev in Stuttgart, Germany yesterday to claim the title and earn immediate recognition and respect among dozens of sports fans.

Here's what I can tell you about Ruslan:

• He's 6'1", and he defeated a 7'-footer for the title • He is from Uzbekistan ( assholes) • He calls himself "The White Tyson"

I'd have gone with "The Sane, Lucid, Able-to-Function-in-Society Tyson" myself, but I guess "White Tyson" fits better on a business card.

Maybe the more shocking news here is that there was a world heavyweight title fight that went the distance and did not have a disputed outcome. Chagaev was ahead on points on two of the judges cards, and neither fighter disagreed with the decision. No one was disqualified, headbutted, punched in the sensitive man area, or had their ear bitten off. Hm. Odd.

Chagaev captures WBA heavy title [CNN] Ruslan Chagaev [Wikipedia]