NHL Page 549 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
First, Gary Bettman, Now Coronavirus: The Universe Is Conspiring To Keep Alex Ovechkin From Passing Wayne Gretzky
(Usual disclaimer that this is galaxies away from the biggest concern of the time. We’re just the class clowns trying to make everyone laugh...or not cry. I aim for just north of crying.)...
Plague of Greed: At Least Six NHL Teams Aren't Paying Arena Employees During Coronavirus Shutdown
The Ottawa Senators’ Eugene Melnyk isn’t paying his arena employees, but that’s to be expected from the worst owner in North American sports. ...
The Flyers Are Finally Good. So Of Course The World Has To End.
Flyers Twitter is an odd place. I don’t really mix it up much with any other teams’ timelines, so I’m not sure if they’re all this crazy, but I can confidently say that we have some of the smartest and dumbest people on the planet in our little section of the Twittersphere. ...
I Have Watched This 46 Times And I Can't Tell If It Was A Save Or A Goal
Wednesday’s game between the Cup-hopeful Lightning and the somehow-not-dead-yet Penguins came down to the final seconds, twice. Victor Hedman scored on a power-play slapper with 56.4 seconds left to give Tampa the lead, and then, with, oh, just about 0.3 seconds left, something happened on the goal ...
David Pastrnak Is Doing Scary Things With His Stick And I Don't Like It
A PSA: This blog is rated R for frozen violence, scenes of intense terror, and sadistic torture of a goalie.Boston Bruins winger David Pastrnak has spent the early part of this season menacing the NHL, and the league leader in goals claimed more victims in a Tuesday night win over the Maple Leafs, w...
Mikko Rantanen's Leg Did Something Legs Aren't Supposed To Do
It seems only fair to show you this before you’ve had breakfast. So: wanna see something gross?...
Apologies To This Hockey Child, But I Am His Mother Now
Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully. It is a difficult question for most people except for me, because I have decided to adopt this small hockey boy and love him forever. ...
Here's A Humiliating Way To Lose Your First Game Of The Season
The Colorado Avalanche looked unstoppably good through their first five games of the NHL season, going 5-0-0 against their early competition. But too bad for them tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins knew their weakness: Gabriel Landeskog can’t defend shorthanded overtime goals when he’s in the crease....
Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...
Ah, Damn, Brad Marchand Actually Did A Frickin' Cool Thing
It’s easy to lose sight of this fact amid the rabbit punches and cup checks and compulsive licking and stick-breaking and general dickishness, but veteran Bruins winger Brad Marchand is really freaking good at hockey. He showed that in part by getting a couple of assists in Boston’s afternoon win ag...
L.A. Kings Cover Up Taylor Swift Banner In Attempt To Break Totally Real Curse
Los Angeles Kings fans filing into Saturday’s home opener against, coincidentally(?), Nashville were treated to a pleasant surprise: a big, blank space where, previously, a banner celebrating Taylor Swift’s 16 sold-out concerts had been displayed. Kings fans are hopeful that this will reverse the fr...
It's A New Season, But Drew Doughty And Matthew Tkachuk Still Hate Each Other
There’s only room for one Alpha Dickhead in the Pacific Division, and Drew Doughty and Matthew Tkachuk have now spent years trying to stake their claim at the top. ...
James Neal Looks Like The Real Deal Again
It would be ludicrous and premature, after just three games, to declare that the Oilers definitely, definitely won the James Neal–for–Milan Lucic trade with the Flames. But: I declared it after zero games, so why pop that take in the freezer now?...
The World Is Anthony Mantha's For The Taking
The 25-year-old Red Wings winger Anthony Mantha has spent the past few seasons threatening to become a truly great goalscorer, and on Sunday night against the Stars, he announced himself with a spectacular performance befitting his high expectations. Mantha has been a solid 20-goal guy for the Wings...
Yes, <i>Yes</i>, The Hurricanes Brought Back The Storm Surge
It is not too early, nor too late to get on the Hurricanes bandwagon. Carolina, a motley crew without a true star that shocked the world with a 99-point season (and underlying numbers that said they should been significantly better than even that) and a trip to the conference final, are back with mo...
Lias Andersson's Season Could've Started Better
Fresh-faced Rangers forward and silver medal hater Lias Andersson made the team’s opening night roster for this season, which is neat for him. This earned Andersson an appearance during Thursday night’s big pregame player introduction ceremony, which was probably also pretty neat for him, right up u...
Connor McDavid Is The God Of Late-Night Hockey
This is what I’ve been waiting six months for. Though there were some questions about the health of his knee, which he injured in Edmonton’s season finale back in April, Connor McDavid returned to the ice in style on Wednesday night, scoring the game-winner on the first night of the season as the Oi...
31 Guys, 31 Teams: Your 2019–20 NHL Season Preview
It’s here! The hockey is finally here! Tonight, on this most special of nights, we’ll see meaningful puck drops across North America for the first time since June, and I could not be happier. Thank you for clicking on this preview, and in doing so choosing to enjoy or learn about the best game you ...
![Mark Letestu Must Answer For His Crime Of Downing A Whole Mustard Packet On The Bench [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/sfcvna0hxxqqawe5h9rw.png)
Mark Letestu Must Answer For His Crime Of Downing A Whole Mustard Packet On The Bench [Update]
I’m sure Mark Letestu figured that nobody was looking. It was preseason, for one, and he wasn’t even on the ice when the stoppage of play hit. So it’s fair to assume that he thought he could sneak just one disgusting mustard packet in without everyone thinking he was a creep. He was wrong. The camer...