How To Make Everyone You Know Want To Kill You

In a description of the upcoming ESPN Mobile program, which will give Sprint customers easier access to sports scores while they're bashing their phones against their heads because they're not working because they're Sprint, ESPN Mobile senior vice president Manish Jha described some of the other services that will be provided when it launches next year. The highlight:

Although he would not offer specifics, Jha said it would be reasonable to expect the service to offer specialized graphics and ring tones that might incorporate such exclamations as broadcaster Dick Vitale s "Awesome, baby!" or ESPN anchor Stuart Scott s trademark "Boo-yah!"

We're not going to lie to you: If we are walking down the street, and we hear someone's cell phone ring, and Stuart Scott's voice comes on, we're going to shoot them. We didn't carry a gun until reading this story; we now feel like we have no choice. Extermination is the only option. Particularly if the guy is Stuart Scott himself. Which, somehow, seems really likely.

Tailoring Cell Pitches To Niches [Kansas City Star]