I Am Dying At These Heart-Shaped Pizzas

How was your Valentine’s Day? I masturbated then watched the dog show, though at least 30 minutes apart so as not to make it weird. But some people believe in romance. At least two delivery chains offered customers the option to order heart-shaped pizzas, and America’s hungry lovebirds eagerly obliged.

And yet the kinks in the supply chain for a one-day-only product have yet to be worked out completely. (Thanks to @lib_crusher, who is a very good follow, for this idea.)

My take is: It all looks the same after you’re done with it. Hope you had a sensual Valentine’s Day.