If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them also, first. And then we have an aunt and uncle ... you know, it would've been a blood bath.
We have our answer!
If you think you have no idea why there were Nazis because you don't know how the can opener works, then you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.
• Old Spice • P.C. Richard And Son • Absolut • The Number 23 • The Letters "Q" and "O." • SV Supreme Vodka • Verizon
Latest
June 12 MLB Picks: Two Best Bets for Friday
Fri Jun 12 2026
Four Big Takeaways From Day 1 of the 2026 World Cup
Fri Jun 12 2026
Texas Tech's Opponents Should Refuse to Play Brendan Sorsby
Fri Jun 12 2026
The New York Knicks Are Inevitable
Thu Jun 11 2026
Top Storylines to Watch as the 2026 FIFA World Cup Kicks Off
Thu Jun 11 2026
Six Things That Must Happen for USMNT to Win the World Cup
Thu Jun 11 2026
Latest Betting
- Best MLB Bets Today: Two Plays for Phillies-Blue Jays and Brewers-Athletics
- Three World Cup Futures Bets Worth Making Before Kickoff
- Tuesday MLB Best Bets: June 9th Pitcher Props Worth Targeting
- NBA Finals Game 2 Betting Picks and Predictions Spurs vs. Knicks
- MLB Picks Today: Two Sunday Bets Worth Backing
- MLB Predictions and Best Bets for Saturday's Biggest Games
- UFC Vegas 118 Betting Picks: Three Fights to Target on Saturday Night

