If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them also, first. And then we have an aunt and uncle ... you know, it would've been a blood bath.
We have our answer!
If you think you have no idea why there were Nazis because you don't know how the can opener works, then you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.
• Old Spice • P.C. Richard And Son • Absolut • The Number 23 • The Letters "Q" and "O." • SV Supreme Vodka • Verizon
Latest
Bengals Have No More Excuses Entering the 2026 NFL Season
Wed Jul 22 2026
MLB Player Props Today: Best Bets for Wednesday, July 22
Wed Jul 22 2026
Why the WNBA Won't Monetize Sophie Cunningham's Viral Point
Tue Jul 21 2026
What Prediction Markets Are Telling Us About NFL 2026 MVP
Mon Jul 20 2026
The Sacramento Kings Need to Blow It Up Before It's Too Late
Mon Jul 20 2026
Latest Betting
- MLB Best Bets: Jacob Misiorowski, Dylan Cease Lead Monday's Top Picks
- Athletics vs. Diamondbacks Predictions: Best Bets, Odds and Props for Monday
- UFC Fight Night Best Betting Picks for Du Plessis vs. Usman in OKC
- France vs. England Best Bets: Three Picks for the World Cup Third-Place Match
- Dodgers vs. Yankees Friday July 17 Best Betting Picks and Props
- July 17 White Sox vs. Blue Jays Prediction, Odds and Best Bets
- Three MLB Futures Bets to Make After the All-Star Break

