In A Town Called East Hampton, A Man Called Mike Lupica Played A Game Called Softball

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• Everything you ever wanted to know about the local rules governing the bunkers at Whistling Straits, which cost poor Dustin Johnson two strokes at the PGA Championship and produced this incredibly compelling sports highlight:

• Stephen Strasburg overturns some moneychangers' tables, so to speak. Here he is, talking about the as-yet-unsigned Bryce Harper, a fellow Boras client who's doing what No. 1 draft picks often do:

I don't have any advice for him. It's his decision. If he wants to play here, he's going to play here. He doesn't need advice from anybody to convince him otherwise. If he doesn't want to play here, then we don't want him here.

• Referee Jeff Triplette got caught on an open mic saying mean things about his replay official.

• Lance Stephenson, pride of Coney Island, allegedly threw his girlfriend down the stairs in front of a Brooklyn home.

• Noted without comment (H/T David):

• Another year, another account of Mike Lupica taking charity softball very, very seriously. Reader Michael attended the annual Artists & Writers game in the Hamptons and sends the above photo. He writes:

You could not be any more of a douche at a charity/celebrity softball game than Mike Lupica. He takes everything way too seriously and has even argued with the ump about balls and strikes when someone else was at bat. Everything you have heard about this man is true.

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Good morning.