Jim Rice Doesn't Like Lazy Longhairs Who Ruined Baseball

Big league Hall of Famer Jim Rice opened the World Series for Little Leaguers with a fiery speech that even the grumpiest of grumpy old men could appreciate. The message: Don't look up to today's players because they're all bums.

Rice explained that the All-Star chumps you see today, can't compare to genuine American heroes of Jim Rice's day. They didn't have the rock and roll and the drugs back then, so their old timey brand of baseball was pure and good. Unlike the kind you see from that hippie Derek Jeter.

Guys that I played against and with, these guys you're talking about cannot compare ... We didn't have the baggy uniforms. We didn't have the dreadlocks," Rice said. "It was a clean game, and now they're setting a bad example for the young guys." [...]

Flexing the muscles in his right arm, Rice said, "That's all the steroids you need. ... It's called God-given talent."

So remember kids—say your prayers and eat your vitamins and you too can wait 15 years to get into the Hall of Fame on a sympathy vote. Then you can badmouth the existing generation of baseball players all you like.

Hall of Famer Rice takes big leaguers to task [AP/USA Today]