Jizz Hornkamp does Dutch team dirty on pitch, finds longer-than-four-hours of fame on social media

If you’re playing against Den Bosch in Dutch soccer’s second division, you have to be ready for them to come hard from behind.

SBV Excelsior was apparently unaware of Den Bosch’s ability to quickly rise up, and on Saturday got caught up in a sticky situation after getting out to a 3-0 lead and seemingly being in the pink.

Excelsior didn’t count on Jizz Hornkamp.

Excelsior took a three-goal lead on Joël Zwarls’ tally in the 47th minute, but after that, Jizz was all over them, scoring in the 52nd minute, again on a penalty three minutes later.

Excelsior restored its two-goal bulge with a penalty from Luigi Bruins, who on any other day would have the best name on the pitch. On this day, that was Jizz Hornkamp, who was nowhere near finished, completing his There’s Something About Mary-evoking hat trick in the 78th minute, then climaxing the Den Bosch rally with his fourth goal in the 86th, sending Twitter into a tizzy.

The only thing that stopped Jizz Hornkamp from sticking it in was the end of the game, which wound up a 4-4 draw. So, even with Jizz Hornkamp striking four times, nobody left Rotterdam truly fulfilled except maybe for the one extremely active 22-year-old Dutchman who did all that scoring.