Two letters to the editor do not constitute outrage

Kill me if I’m ever so compelled to write into a publication — instead of just leaking that sludge onto social media — to tsk-tsk the Kansas City Chiefs for drinking during a fucking Super Bowl parade. As someone who’s edited uncut letters to the editor before, no one is more self-righteous than the letter writer. (Maybe a newspaper columnist, but the op-ed section is not for weak takes.)

That’s why when I saw that Fox News’s story about “Chiefs’ fans blasting their own team” was just a link to the Kansas City Star’s Thursday letters to the editor page, I had to roll my eyes. Even now, I’m not sure how I’m typing this with my irises pointed at the sky.

Both contributors cited the negative influence the players’ behavior could have on KC-area youth. Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce are role models and should behave accordingly, blah, blah, blah. So, what, pray tell, would you have them do? Sneak below deck and shotgun beers like some skeevy coke heads?

You know what that display told kids? It told them that if you work extremely hard to accomplish something, and you actually do it, you should get to celebrate. That’s the whole point of graduation parties.

I’m not saying blackout to the point that you need a wheelchair to get home, or your stomach pumped. However, if you’re going to do that, wouldn’t the best way to go about it be with as much supervision as possible? (I will say this on blacking out: It’s a lot more fun to remember having a good time at the party than your friends telling you how much fun you had.)

If you win a Super Bowl, no matter if it’s your second or seventh, you should be able to chug a Coors Light on top of a bus while the adoring masses join in. Saying they should keep it under wraps implies that the behavior is never acceptable — and I couldn’t disagree more.

I will give Fox News kudos for acknowledging the third letter among the group (gotta be a weird day for the traffic analyst at the KC Star seeing “Letters to the editor” as the most-read story). The letter writer took issue with team announcer Mitch Holthus encouraging fans to finish off the parade with the “Arrowhead Chop,” aka the offensive chant that demeans Native Americans.

Other fan bases who still practice a similar mantra despite public calls from the offended parties to move on are the Atlanta Braves and the Florida State Seminoles, so you know you’re in good company. I would argue that teaching children to continue racist traditions solely because they’re traditions is worse behavior than “swilling beer.”