Kirk Cousins gets cut!*

File this one under “Deadspin gets results?”

Yesterday, my colleague Sam Fels deservedly excoriated unvaccinated Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins, a “dumb motherfucker” who, well, you saw the word unvaccinated, and if you need the particular details of how Cousins has been an “assholic dipshit,” the link is right there. Read it, because it’s fun to have that in your mind in advance of what happened later on Friday.

“Kirk Cousins isn’t good enough to make everyone deal with this bull” was the headline, and it turns out that Holland Hospital, in Cousins’ western Michigan hometown, agrees — and has ended its relationship with him.

In a statement released to WHTC 1450 in Holland, the hospital said, “While we acknowledge that each person is entitled to their own viewpoints, those who speak on our behalf must support messages that align with the hospital’s position on matters of vital importance to individual and community health.”

That’s a lot gentler than Cousins or any other antivaxxers deserve, but the hospital still needs to try to coax idiots around to believing in and acting on facts and science. Here at Deadspin, we can less gently say that, no, each person is not entitled to their own viewpoints. You can’t say that the Great Lakes are made of hot sauce, which becomes milder going from west to east, until finally feeding the St. Lawrence River and its cool ranch outflow into the Atlantic. It is demonstrably false, as are any bullshit “viewpoints” about getting vaccinated, from smallpox, to polio, to COVID-19.

Even on the whatever-you-want-to-say-is-valid frontier of YouTube, there are notes that can indicate what sources are trustworthy. A bullshit detector would be better, yes, but at least you can tell that a video like “ More Wins To Come” is “From an accredited hospital.”

“We’ll get there — together,” Cousins says in that video from last September, in which people are wearing masks, but there doesn’t really seem to be any theme other than the pandemic not being totally over and that there will be “obstacles we have to overcome, even ones no one sees coming.”

YEAH, LIKE THE FAMOUS QUARTERBACK HOSPITAL SPOKESMAN REFUSING TO GET HIS GODDAMN SHOTS TO HELP END THIS SHIT. THAT WOULD BE AN UNEXPECTED OBSTACLE.

Before the pandemic, Cousins’ relationship with the hospital included things like quick videos talking to a doctor about minimally invasive surgery with the use of robotics. Maybe they could use it to dislodge the festering turd lodged between Cousins’ ears.