Last Night's Winner: The Jews

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the People of the Book, who, in addition to controlling the media, now control the paint at MSG thanks to Amar'e Stoudemire's newfound faith.

We've long assumed his Twitter account (@amareisreal) was so named to assure fans as to its authenticity. But could it be that all along he just didn't know how to spell "Israel?" The Jews of New York must be psyched. (There are Jews in New York, right?)

Stoudemire says he recently discovered that his mother is Jewish, and is traveling to Israel to learn more about his roots:

On the flight to Israel. This is going to be a great trip. The holy land. Learn about it. This ze ha'halom sheli. Shalom. less than a minute ago via Echofon

Amar'e Stoudemire Amareisreal

Jerusalem is a beautiful city, I'm at a cafe eating a late lunch. I'm learning Hebrew by the min. Keep up !! Shalom. less than a minute ago via Echofon

Amar'e Stoudemire Amareisreal

We've looked into the question of Stoudemire's faith before, and with the help of a theology student, concluded he likely belongs to an obscure offshoot of the Black Hebrew Israelites. So it's iffy, but as Deadspin's resident Jew (and only one, despite this odd Yahoo Answers question), I say there's always room at this party.

You may have noticed there's not a ton of Jewish athletes, so we'll take what we can get. We've been claiming Rod Carew for decades, even though all he did was marry a nice Jewish girl. In the NBA, pickings are even slimmer (you can keep that little shit Farmar).

And besides, by moving from Arizona to New York, Stoudemire has reenacted a journey undertaken by many a Jew before him, only in reverse.

So welcome to the club, Amar'e. Your membership card will be coming in the mail, and the ZOG meetings are held the second Tuesday of the month. It'll be nice to see a circumcised cellphone dong photo for once.