I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff.
With that said, I believe it's my duty as Deadspin Weekend Daddy to let you know that Phil Mickelson shat himself at the Scottish Open, bogeying three of the final six holes to finish second to France's Gregory Havret in a playoff.
At the first playoff hole, the par-four 18th at Loch Lomond, the No. 3 player in the world drove into a hazard on the left side. If Mickelson wanted a drop, he would have to go back to the tee, so he slashed back on to the fairway.
Havret split the short grass off the tee, but landed in a right greenside bunker with his second. He blasted out to five feet, but had to wait to see if Mickelson could save par.
Mickelson hit his third shot a little too far and the ball could not spin out of the back rough. The left-hander chipped a foot past the hole to tap-in for bogey and put the pressure on Havret.
The Frenchman responded and walked off with his second European Tour victory.
And that was that, and everyone still made a lot of money. The end.
Havret Trumps Mickelson At Scottish Open [The Sports Network]