Locker Page 397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh Boy, The Warriors Sure Kicked The Crap Out Of These Sad Randos In Spurs Uniforms<em></em>
The Warriors won Game 2 tonight, 136-100. If you didn’t watch it, don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything. The Warriors smelled blood in the water and ended the game almost right after it started. The Kawhi-less Spurs lost every single quarter and someone named Bryn Forbes played 23 minutes. The Spurs...

Mike Brown Almost Got Arrested Trying To Follow The Spurs Motorcade Before Game 2
Before the Warriors began their unholy beatdown of the San Antonio Spurs, acting Warriors coach Mike Brown relayed the story of how he almost got arrested following the Spurs bus into the Warriors arena. It’s very good, and involves Brown actively messing with the cops (who didn’t care that he was t...

The Lakers Narrowly Avoided Total Catastrophe At The Lottery
The Los Angeles Lakers will get the second overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft, which is a fine return for a shit-filled season of tanking that very nearly went up in flames thanks to an inexplicable five-game winning streak at the end of the year. Not only is the team in the driver’s seat to pick Lo...

Here's How The NBA Draft Lottery Shook Out
The Boston Celtics advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and tonight, they won the NBA draft lottery and the right to choose between Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz with the top overall pick in the upcoming draft. The Lakers avoided catastrophe and secured the second pick, while Philad...

Deadspin Up All Night: All Good Cretins Go To Heaven
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The night crew will be on soon. Be nice and send in a tip....

Bruce Bowen On Zaza Pachulia's Closeout: "Intentional And Definitely Dangerous"
Bruce Bowen can cite a wealth of experience when it comes to stepping under shooters. Whether that makes him the most or least qualified to comment on that infamous Zaza Pachulia closeout is hard to say. Either way, Bleacher Report sought out his take, and as satisfying as it would be to pin Bowen f...

How The Wizards Ended Up With The Worst Team Name In Sports
Your letters:...

White Sox Manager Lets Emotional Attachment To Mike Pelfrey Get Better Of Him
Chicago White Sox starter Mike Pelfrey has been generally ineffective this year, but he’s been at his worst when attempting to get through an opponent’s lineup for a third time. He’s pitched to 15 batters in this situation, allowing nine runs and a .750/.733/1.583 batting line....

Wizards Fan Decks Celtics Fan
There’s not a lot to see in this short clip of a Wizards fan and Celtics fan getting into it at last night’s Game 7, just one quick punch to the nose and some half-hearted shoving....
![Duke Athletics Graciously Offers Full-Time Job That Will Pay Exactly Nothing [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/v1s6yedqpqh6vffpye8w.jpg)
Duke Athletics Graciously Offers Full-Time Job That Will Pay Exactly Nothing [Update]
Would you like to work in college athletics? Do you want to be around an elite college basketball team?? Do you have an aversion to earning currency in exchange for your labor??? Boy, do we have a job for you....

Liberty Was So Desperate For An FBS Home Opener, It Agreed To Pay Old Dominion $1.32 Million
Liberty University will stop at nothing, it seems, to raise the profile of its football program. Last fall, it hired disgraced former Baylor athletic director Ian McCaw, who resigned from Baylor when it came out that he took part in covering up reports of rapes that involved university football play...

The Wizards Are Dead And Kelly Olynyk Killed Them
Thanks to a big night from oafish backup center guy Kelly Olynyk, the Boston Celtics took Game 7 from the Washington Wizards tonight, 115-105, and won the honor of trying to stop LeBron James and the Cavs. They will probably not fare that well, but whatever, this is their night....

He Also Owns An EdTV Hat
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Rigged
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...

Deadspin Up All Night: When You First Left Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s see where it goes....

The NBA Rulebook Was Not Enough To Save Kawhi Leonard's Ankle<em></em>
Here is some bullshit:...

Police Appear To Shoot Stolen Van Suspect On Live Television
KTLA in Los Angeles broadcast what appears to be a live shooting this afternoon as a suspect police say stole a van was taken down by police. The network didn’t provide much information after that, and obviously cut away quickly—to the search for an additional suspect, it turns out; we’ll update as ...

Gregg Popovich Is Steamed About Zaza Pachulia
Spurs forward Kawhi Leonard left Sunday’s game after injuring his ankle on a play in which Golden State’s Zaza Pachulia took him out, or Leonard landed awkwardly. (It depends on whose opinions you trust.) With a major threat out of their way, the Warriors rallied for a 113-111 win. San Antonio head ...

Trump Won't Exercise For Fear Of Depleting His Body's Finite Store Of Energy
It’s not surprising that an artificially-hued, overweight 70-year-old with a terrifying lack of self-control and a noted penchant for fast food doesn’t hit the gym regularly. It somehow is surprising, though, that he has a characteristically smug and preposterous explanation....

How Many Nuggets Does Your Soul Cost?
If you’ve been on the internet this month, you’ve definitely been exposed to the most successful ad in the history of Twitter. Millions of people and countless media outlets have propagated the heartwarming story of a giant corporation buying a priceless amount of advertising for close to free. If ...