Locker Page 506 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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!["I'm Falling Off The Chair" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
"I'm Falling Off The Chair" [Update]
Chris Hassel’s day running ESPN’s Goal Line coverage is not going so well; the anchor cannot even manage to sit in his very stubborn chair....
Let's Make Some Minestrone, And Accept Autumn Like Grown-Ups
Shit, man. Autumn is officially here. Life sucks now....
This Is Probably Unhealthy
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USF Goes 84 Yards For TD On Game's First Play; FSU Goes 75 On The Second
Today’s Florida State-South Florida game in Tampa is 29 seconds old, and the score is already 7-7 after each team scored a touchdown on its first offensive play—the first, an 84-yard touchdown catch by Rodney Adams, and the second a 75-yard rush by Dalvin Cook:...
Tebow Jokes: Your Knoxville <i>College GameDay</i> Sign Roundup
Good afternoon. Here’s the best, and worst, of today’s College GameDay signs from Knoxville—with some help from SEC Nation:...
Washington State Plans To Force Students To Bail Out Broke Athletics Department
Washington State’s football team is 1-2 this season, including a loss to FCS team Eastern Washington. Head coach Mike Leach is still pulling a $3 million salary, though, and that’s contributed to an athletics department budget deficit—one the university plans to force students to bail out....
Utah Drives 93 Yards In Final Five Minutes To Beat USC
USC’s woes continued tonight as the Trojans allowed Utah to drive 93 yards while eating up nearly all of the 5:37 remaining on the clock on the way to a Troy Williams touchdown pass to Tim Patrick, the fifteenth play in a remarkable series that featured two fourth downs and multiple penalties....
Peaceful Student Protest Marches On Eastern Michigan Field As Game Ends
Eastern Michigan students protesting that university’s response to white supremacist graffiti that appeared on a campus dorm this week occupied an area behind an end zone during tonight’s game against Wyoming before marching onto the field upon the game’s completion in a display that, remarkably, CB...
"C'mon, It's Just Me!" Vin Scully Brings Down The House At Retirement Ceremony
The Dodgers recognized Vin Scully’s 67 seasons as an announcer with a lengthy pre-game ceremony tonight—one that featured Sandy Koufax and Kevin Costner, among others—capped off by the man himself sharing some golden words with the gathered crowd:...
Another Night, Another Ejection For Targeting
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Sacramento D.A. Asks For Restraining Order Against Guy Who Threw A Pie At Kevin Johnson
“We’d like him to be let out on his own recognizance,” Sean Thompson’s lawyer Claire White said of her client, who is scheduled to be arraigned on felony assault charges on Tuesday for throwing a pie into the face of disgraced soon-to-be former Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson. “Mr. Thompson doesn’t p...
Deadspin Up All Night: Comprehensively Meaningless
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Things are good with us, and we hope they’re good with you....
Kevin Garnett Retires, Makes The NBA A Little More Sane And A Lot Less Fun
Kevin Garnett’s 21-year NBA has come to an end. The 40-year-old power forward, who spent last season playing sparingly for the Minnesota Timberwolves, announced his retirement on his Instagram page....
These Bears, Like Me, Are Wondering What's So Bad About Eating Some Ducks
“Frickin’ bears after my fuckin’ ducks!” exclaims a very perturbed woman at the beginning of this video. Yeah, and?...
![Report: Ted Cruz Planning To Cuck Himself [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vx39uk0qkpugpvvrxiqy.jpg)
Report: Ted Cruz Planning To Cuck Himself [Updated]
Over the past year, Donald Trump has called Ted Cruz a liar and a wacko, accused his father of helping to assassinate JFK, called his wife ugly, humiliated him at the RNC, and even once referred to Ted himself as “a pussy.” Now, Politico is reporting that Ted Cruz is “expected” to finally endorse Do...
Study: America's Large Adult Sons Economically Crippled By Good Video Games
The bare fact will not surprise you: Many of our country’s young men fritter away potential work hours by enjoying fun leisure activities instead. Nor is it especially news that more men do this more often than they did even a decade ago—we’ve had a recession in the interim, after all. What is odd i...
This Video Of A Guy Executing Fish With A Pistol Is Actually Good Because Lionfish Suck
I think every non-sociopath’s first instinct when seeing the title card of the video above—which lives up to its billing, as this is indeed a four-minute clip of a man equipped with a waterproof Glock who uses it to “fish” for lionfish—is one of dread. Oh no, you worry, accurately. Am I really about...
Reports: Chris Bosh Fails Physical Due To Complications From Blood Clotting
According to various local reports, Chris Bosh failed a pre-training camp physical after instances of clotting were discovered in his blood work. Per the Miami Herald’s Barry Jackson, the clotting is “believed to be related to one of two previous blood clot episodes” that forced Bosh to stop playing...
Thanks To Draymond Green, NBA Refs Will Be Cracking Down On Hits To The Dick And Balls
Draymond Green was the loudest, brashest, most dick kicking-est player on the NBA Finals-losing Golden State Warriors, and he has already secured a legacy of sorts for himself: starting next season, NBA referees will be making a point to spot and penalize strikes to the dick and balls, or what the A...